Microsoft Addresses Justice Department Accusations
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REDMOND, Wash. -- Oct. 21, 1997 -- In direct response to accusations made by the Department of Justice, Microsoft Corporation announced today it will be acquiring the Federal Government of the United States of America for an undisclosed sum.
The Loyal Wife
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A man who is driving a car is stopped by a police officer. The following exchange takes place . . .
An Out of Work Actor
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An out of work actor was looking for a job and seeing a sign at the zoo he approached the zookeeper. The zookeeper said yes, he was looking for someone to work the vending booths but now he was in need of special help.
My only African Gorilla died today, he said and I really don't think I can get a new one here for three weeks. What I need is for someone to dress up like a gorilla and fool my crowd.
Things I've Learned From My Children
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There is no such thing as child-proofing your house.
If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
A 4 year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
The Perfect Story
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There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.