| AMNESIA | Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again. |
| DUMBWAITER | One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert. |
| FAMILY PLANNING | The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster. |
| FEEDBACK | The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots. |
| FULL NAME | What you call your child when you're mad at him/her. |
| GRANDPARENTS | The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right. |
| HEARSAY | What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word. |
| IMPREGNABLE | A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid. |
| INDEPENDENT | How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say. |
| OW | The first word spoken by children with older siblings. |
| PRENATAL | When your life was still somewhat your own. |
| PUDDLE | A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it. |
| SHOW OFF | A child who is more talented than yours. |
| STERILIZE | What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it. |
| TOP BUNK | Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies. |
| TWO-MINUTE WARNING | When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises. |
| VERBAL | Able to whine in words. |
| WHODUNIT | None of the kids that live in your house. |