Top 30 Things Not To Say When You've Been Pulled Over By a Cop
- I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
The Senility Prayer
God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference...
Now that I am older, here's what I have discovered:
The Packer Fan
A Packer fan in a bar leaned to the guy next to him and said, "Wanna hear a joke about Viking fans?"
The Lesson
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."